Tuesday, September 25, 2012

If knitting were dating, your project would be....

I saw holiday decorations in Costco last week, which was enough to jolt me into my  annual “attempt to knit-down all the WIPs before the end of the year” tradition.  I pulled my half-finished projects out of the closet, and realized that despite being married, I have a good number of relationships on the side--only with knitting projects. My WIP projects have so much in common with relationship cliches, you'd think the list was thought up by Sex and the City writers.

One-Night Stand

That project you impulsively cast on and knit furiously for a day or so only to wake up feeling a little dirty.  You shove it into a bag or closet, blame it on yarn fumes, and hope no one noticed. 

Ah, the handspun striped scarf. I knew a 1x1 rib scarf was a bad idea, but it felt so good at the time.


You start knitting a new project; you put it down. You fall in love with it all over again a few months later; it doesn’t last and you push it away again. You keep trying to go back to it and make things work, but by now there’s so much baggage, the whole thing seems like too much work. 

Oh Vivian, it's been 2 years, and all we can show for it is 3/4 of the body of a sweater and 2 ripped out sleeves.  One more try, Vivian, then we're through. I mean it this time.  Really.

Friends with Benefits

The project you go back to every now and then for a good time, but that’s it.  No expectations.  No finishing deadline.  Just a break to distract you from all the other projects causing you headaches or tears. 

My handspun afghan may take me years, but the knitting is easy, each square is instant gratification, there's no pressure, and I get to use my handspun.  Everyone should have one of these.

It's Not You, It's Me

This project is like that best guy friend that seems perfect except for the whole lack of attraction thing-- tons of great qualities, but no chemistry. 

This Hermione sock has a lot going for it: merino cashmere sock yarn, an easy pattern with a little texture, and it’s a nice portable project.  But I’m just not feeling it.  

Good on Paper 

You think everything should work out.  The yarn is great, it’s perfect for the pattern, and you got gauge.  Despite everything it has going for it, the project is not sweeping you off your feet. This one is going to take a little more effort than you thought for things to work out.  Maybe it will, maybe it won’t.

Low-tide ripples, I really think I like you, but your fabric is a little dense, and geez, those cables are rather tedious. You've got potential though so I'm keeping an open mind.

Marriage Material

There might be some bumps along the road, but you’re happy with the project, you generally enjoy knitting it, and potential is there for a great finished item. 

Laika started out well, and we did hit a little slow patch, but she's my one and only right now.  Hip increases are finished, and I'm only a few rows from the main body portion being finished.  We spent the whole weekend together; I think I'm in love.

So there you go--my 2012 WIP line up (afghan exempted from the end of the year goal), most of which resemble rather unhealthy relationships.  This could get interesting...


  1. haha loved this! I'm sure I could do the same with my wips!

  2. Just possibly my favourite knitting post EVER! :)

  3. I about died laughing reading this! I definitely have a few "one night stands" and "on and off again" project hiding in the UFO bin.

  4. ditto to what maria said

    although something interesting happened RE: On Again Off Again
    I tried Herringbone Rib Socks countless times and it never worked out. i figured...two row pattern...after five rows that's a pretty good example right?

    not so young grasshoppers.

    i tried it again and didn't give up. by row 14 or so it was looking FANTASTIC

    no idea what kind of relationship that is. i'm lost

  5. This was a wonderful post! Great concept, perfectly executed. Unlike many of my current WIPs, I might add...